switching focus

hmmm. switching foci? not sure what the correct word is, but i am planning to blog less about shopping deals, and more about my psycho head.

part of the reason for the switch is that shaw's has decided to turn a profit instead of give away food constantly (effin' jerks. what nerve). also, i have about 20 bottles of body wash, kids' shampoo, toothpaste, umpteen razors, enough tampax to last a normal person until menopause. i'm decidely not normal, so my tampax stash might last me a year. i'll spare you the gorey details, but i'm sure you can imagine the grossosity. yeah, i made up a word. it's my blog. i got the power.

but the biggest reason for the switch is that i am exhausted. and grouchy. and blah. and sad a lot. that pretty much describes my whole life, but i am not willing to let it be the summary of my life. i need to get it all out, and as wife, mom, and working business owner, there isn't a lot of room for venting or outlets for blowing off life.

journaling is a small way to get it all out there so it rattles around in your head a bit less. i always journaled as a young person--i had all those padded blank books that the bookstores sell, at least they use to. i wonder if i still have any of them. i know i saved them for many years because they were so personal. i would be packing for a move to college or to my first home, or my second, and i would think i should just get rid of them. then i would read them, and i remember thinking that i just could not throw them out. what a betrayal to that poor girl who wrote them! her heart and soul were in them.

fast forward 15 years, and i do believe i probably tossed them. in my deadened state of mind, i'm sure i did. nothing really seems important to me anymore. certainly not anything having to do with ME.

i'm trying to switch that focus most of all, and give myself a little credit. we'll see how it goes.