what a week.
let's start by saying that i lost 2 pounds. i think i actually lost more than that, but by weigh-in today, i was carrying around some water weight. need i say more? i think you can figure it out.
i ate much better, took my vitamins every day, and exercised 4 times. so not bad. i hope to exercise at least 5 times next week, and maybe lose about 3 pounds. how are those for some concrete goals? i hope, and maybe...can you say commitment-phobe?
on to kids. well, one kid in particular. what can i say? i feel as though my eldest child was put on this earth to make me pay for every bad thing i've ever done. being her mother is by far the most difficult experience of my life. BY FAR. every day brings new, and even more exasperating, old challenges. rules? she spits on the stinkin' rules. responsibility? a sign of weakness. respect for others and their things? she tried it once, and she didn't like it.
she continually makes me shake my head in shock and wonder. i just can not imagine a person could be so obstinate across so many areas. yet, every day we start again. every day, i wonder what is "wrong" with her. and every day, i wonder what is wrong with me.
why can't i parent this child? why can't i reach her? there just aren't words for the overwhelming sense of failure i feel in this area. it hovers over the rest of my life.
pscychologists, doctors, teachers...they can sympathize, but that's about it. my family doesn't live nearby, and my friends have their hands full, too.
so, it's me against her. and she's kicking my ass.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
the good, the bad, and the jiggly
one of my high school friends (hi lisa!) indicated recently that she is a serial blogger and that one of her blogs is her personal weight loss diary. that's what i thought i would start to do, also. i planned to start a new blog and make it private, but i think i'll just let it all hang out right here. i'm wild and crazy like that.
i started weight watchers (again) yesterday. the meeting leader is the same and she is really great. i'm going to try to let her help me this time, instead of deciding at my first plateau that i suck and i'm not worth the effort.
so....i weigh 192. that's a lot, but it's not my highest. i've always weighed a lot, and even when i'm a "decent" size, the number on the scale is still higher than one would guess. i think that's because i can not look healthy unless i have exercised regularly five or six days a week, so i have good muscle tone when i "look" healthy.
the trigger for my new beginning this time is that i just feel awful. i either sleep a lot, or can't sleep at all. i'm irritable. i'm foggy-brained. a lot of these issues can be traced back to a thyroid problem and depression; however, these problems become somewhat bearable when i'm at a healthier weight, while at my current weight, i kind of what to careen off a cliff.
my thyroid and depression meds seemed to have stalled out (ya think?), and since i'm not interested in trying new drugs and experimenting with side effects, i have decided that i have to follow the "thyroid diet" and try to feel better that way. coincidentally, much of the recommendations of the thyroid diet are pretty much in line with the recommendations of weight watchers. who knew? the diet isn't really a diet, but a way of living for the rest of your life to lessen the times that you just feel like shit.
so, yesterday was my first official day. i stayed within my points range and exercised. i did not get in all the lean protein and dairy that i should have, though. it has always been difficult to get those items in and stay within my points. i need to work on that. among other things. but we'll start with lean protein.
i started weight watchers (again) yesterday. the meeting leader is the same and she is really great. i'm going to try to let her help me this time, instead of deciding at my first plateau that i suck and i'm not worth the effort.
so....i weigh 192. that's a lot, but it's not my highest. i've always weighed a lot, and even when i'm a "decent" size, the number on the scale is still higher than one would guess. i think that's because i can not look healthy unless i have exercised regularly five or six days a week, so i have good muscle tone when i "look" healthy.
the trigger for my new beginning this time is that i just feel awful. i either sleep a lot, or can't sleep at all. i'm irritable. i'm foggy-brained. a lot of these issues can be traced back to a thyroid problem and depression; however, these problems become somewhat bearable when i'm at a healthier weight, while at my current weight, i kind of what to careen off a cliff.
my thyroid and depression meds seemed to have stalled out (ya think?), and since i'm not interested in trying new drugs and experimenting with side effects, i have decided that i have to follow the "thyroid diet" and try to feel better that way. coincidentally, much of the recommendations of the thyroid diet are pretty much in line with the recommendations of weight watchers. who knew? the diet isn't really a diet, but a way of living for the rest of your life to lessen the times that you just feel like shit.
so, yesterday was my first official day. i stayed within my points range and exercised. i did not get in all the lean protein and dairy that i should have, though. it has always been difficult to get those items in and stay within my points. i need to work on that. among other things. but we'll start with lean protein.
switching focus
hmmm. switching foci? not sure what the correct word is, but i am planning to blog less about shopping deals, and more about my psycho head.
part of the reason for the switch is that shaw's has decided to turn a profit instead of give away food constantly (effin' jerks. what nerve). also, i have about 20 bottles of body wash, kids' shampoo, toothpaste, umpteen razors, enough tampax to last a normal person until menopause. i'm decidely not normal, so my tampax stash might last me a year. i'll spare you the gorey details, but i'm sure you can imagine the grossosity. yeah, i made up a word. it's my blog. i got the power.
but the biggest reason for the switch is that i am exhausted. and grouchy. and blah. and sad a lot. that pretty much describes my whole life, but i am not willing to let it be the summary of my life. i need to get it all out, and as wife, mom, and working business owner, there isn't a lot of room for venting or outlets for blowing off life.
journaling is a small way to get it all out there so it rattles around in your head a bit less. i always journaled as a young person--i had all those padded blank books that the bookstores sell, at least they use to. i wonder if i still have any of them. i know i saved them for many years because they were so personal. i would be packing for a move to college or to my first home, or my second, and i would think i should just get rid of them. then i would read them, and i remember thinking that i just could not throw them out. what a betrayal to that poor girl who wrote them! her heart and soul were in them.
fast forward 15 years, and i do believe i probably tossed them. in my deadened state of mind, i'm sure i did. nothing really seems important to me anymore. certainly not anything having to do with ME.
i'm trying to switch that focus most of all, and give myself a little credit. we'll see how it goes.
part of the reason for the switch is that shaw's has decided to turn a profit instead of give away food constantly (effin' jerks. what nerve). also, i have about 20 bottles of body wash, kids' shampoo, toothpaste, umpteen razors, enough tampax to last a normal person until menopause. i'm decidely not normal, so my tampax stash might last me a year. i'll spare you the gorey details, but i'm sure you can imagine the grossosity. yeah, i made up a word. it's my blog. i got the power.
but the biggest reason for the switch is that i am exhausted. and grouchy. and blah. and sad a lot. that pretty much describes my whole life, but i am not willing to let it be the summary of my life. i need to get it all out, and as wife, mom, and working business owner, there isn't a lot of room for venting or outlets for blowing off life.
journaling is a small way to get it all out there so it rattles around in your head a bit less. i always journaled as a young person--i had all those padded blank books that the bookstores sell, at least they use to. i wonder if i still have any of them. i know i saved them for many years because they were so personal. i would be packing for a move to college or to my first home, or my second, and i would think i should just get rid of them. then i would read them, and i remember thinking that i just could not throw them out. what a betrayal to that poor girl who wrote them! her heart and soul were in them.
fast forward 15 years, and i do believe i probably tossed them. in my deadened state of mind, i'm sure i did. nothing really seems important to me anymore. certainly not anything having to do with ME.
i'm trying to switch that focus most of all, and give myself a little credit. we'll see how it goes.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
cleanliness is next to Godliness...
the deals aren't cranking like they once were, but i did manage to hit it big today.
i spent a whopping $5.36 on all that you see, plus a little something chocolate that seems to have disappeared...
the kids shampoo was 3 for $5.00, and when you spend $10.00 on suave items at CVS this week, you earn $3 in extrabucks. i also had $1.00 off 3 coupons for these. the head and shoulders was $4.99, generated $2.00 in extrabucks, and i had a buy one get one free coupon.
the nutrigrain bars were 2 for $5.00. i had $1.00 coupons for each box, and i used the extrabucks from the suave transactions so i spent NOTHING on all four boxes. abby eats one of these bars every day, so she's good for a month! and that makes her a happy girl...
Saturday, June 5, 2010
it's been a long time since rock 'n roll...
i've been plugging along clipping my monopoly money and scoring some deals. some really good deals, actually. but nothing wonderfully fantastic. and my best friend, shaw's, has been a real stingy jerk lately. hence, the lack of posts over the past two months. (well, that and life got a little crazy in that time period.)
today i ran out to do my cvs shopping for next week. (((did you know they start their sales on saturday nights? and that you can shop last week's and this week's deals in the same trip? so sweet of them!))) i also hit my nemesis, the dreaded stop 'n shop, or as i like to call it, stop 'n drop all your money. although, i may need to give them a new nick name, as they have impressed me with some decent deals lately.
my cvs run was as good a score as i've ever had there!
1st transaction:
1 razor at 9.97 less 4.00 coupon and 5 ECB
i spent 1.03 and earned another 5 ECB.
2nd transaction:
1 kellogg's frosted wheat at 3.33
3 packs cvs diapers on clearance at 2.49 each
2 nutrigrain bars at $3.33 each less 1.00 coupon
2 tampax pearl at 2.97 each less 2.00 coupons for each (so, .97 each)
after coupons, i spent .41
i used a $5 off $15 purchase, the 5 ECB from the 1st transaction, and 13 ECB's. i also earned 7 additional ECB's, AND the nutrigrain boxes have $10 worth of coupons for kellogg's products and fresh fruit (great coupons)!
stop 'n shop was the real success story, though:
3 clorox bleach at 3/$5 less 1.00 coupon
3 bags of pretzels at 2.50 less 1.10 coupons (so, 1.40 each)
2 boxes of honeycomb cereal at 1.67 each less 1.00 coupon (so, 1.17 each)
i spent 10.73. eh? what's so great about that? look closely at the honeycomb boxes. closer. see it? each box has a child's ticket for 6 flags inside. those suckers are worth 34.99 each, baby!
my kids have no idea what an awesome mother they have. no idea.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
bathing suit shopping...
since it was a balmy 50 degrees a couple of times this week, i'm practically packing the beach bags. never mind that it's positively frigid today - i am in denial about that.
i lurve to buy the kids' new bathing suits and sandals. i can not adequately explain the joy it brings me. perhaps it's the promise of warm sunny days in the sand at silver beach that brings on the euphoria.
it also could be that kids' suits are so stinkin' cute.
maybe it's the navy shipping bag with the words "lands end" emblazened on it that makes me so happy. it has become somewhat of a ritual of mine to purchase sandals and suits from lands end every year. i can't explain it.
or maybe, the giddiness derives from just this:
i lurve to buy the kids' new bathing suits and sandals. i can not adequately explain the joy it brings me. perhaps it's the promise of warm sunny days in the sand at silver beach that brings on the euphoria.
it also could be that kids' suits are so stinkin' cute.
maybe it's the navy shipping bag with the words "lands end" emblazened on it that makes me so happy. it has become somewhat of a ritual of mine to purchase sandals and suits from lands end every year. i can't explain it.
or maybe, the giddiness derives from just this:
Sunday, March 7, 2010
it never gets old...
shaw's sales just keep getting better! there are no less than three big catalina deals going on now, and several smaller deals as well. add in a produce "pick 4" and corresponding coupons for guacamole (yee-um!), and i'm almost giddy. i love me a good deal!
i've been to shaw's a few times since friday, but here is the most recent trip, where my cash out amounts to a whopping $3.36:
2 capri sun (retail 2.99, sale 1.99 each)
2 dixie paper plates (retail 4.99, 3.89 each w/ coupon)
1 dixie napkins (retail 2.59, free w/ coupon)
2 tampax (retail 5.99, sale 2.50, 1.50 each w/ coupons)
4 crest spiderman toothpaste (retail 3.29, sale 2.29, 1.29 each w/ coupons)
4 crest kids toothpaste (retail 2.99, sale 2.29, 1.29 each w/ coupons) [donated 1]
2 toothbrushes (retail 2.99, sale 2.29, 1.15 each w/ B1G1 coupon)
1 wesson oil (retail 3.99, sale 2.99)
3 ketchups (retail 1.99, sale .79 each) [donated 1]
2 cocoas (retail 2.19 each) [donated 1)
1 dannon yogurt (retail 2.99, sale 2.29, 1.29 each w/ coupon)
TOTAL retail: 81.22
TOTAL sale price: 56.74
less clipped coupons: 18.38
less catalina coupons: 15.00
ORDER TOTAL: 23.36
Catalinas produced: 20.00
TOTAL: 3.36
not a bad morning's work. i'm almost done shopping this week, but i'll be heading back once more to stock up on kraft shredded cheese for .24 a bag...i can't resist!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)